So Scary It's Funny

7 Days

It was recently brought to my attention that I had not posted anything for a while. Taking the matter under advisement, I decided to investigate. It appears that they were correct. It has been a while. The root cause for this delinquency is that I have been extremely busy both at work and at home as I get ready for the birth of my daughter in seven days.

I'm going to let that sink in for just a moment.

Seven days? Seven freakin' days!?

Where exactly did the last 9 months go? I'm sure my wife would be able to provide a detailed accounting, but for me, the time has gone quickly.....maybe above the speed limit. It seems like just yesterday it was Valentine's Day and my wife was calling me at work with a "Guess what?" question. (When I said Valentine's Day, you thought I was going somewhere else, didn't you? For shame.)

Sometime over the last 8+ months I've come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be a father (though the prospect continues to terrify me a little bit). We've had ultrasounds, doctor's appointments, prepared the nursery, had a baby shower, installed a car seat and thrown around possible names (only a bare few we seem to agree on). And now we're in the home stretch. Next week at this time, I will most likely have joined the ranks of fatherhood.

So for any of you father's out there, if you have any words of wisdom to impart......now is most definitely the time.

Expanded Horizons

As one of the perks of my current employment status, I've recently been afforded the opportunity to see and do things that in the normal course of events I never would. For example, this past week I had the chance to attend the opera.

Yes. The opera.

In any normal circumstance I wouldn't have any desire to see the opera, nor would I be able to afford it. However, I am of an open mind, and given that I was in a position where I didn't have to pay I thought, what the heck?

The Opera in question is Die Walkure which is the 2nd part in a 16 or so hour opera commonly referred to as The Ring Cycle by Richard Wagner (pronounced Vagner). This particular opera was serving to open the Canadian Opera Company's newly minted Four Seasons Centre of Performing Arts in Toronto. I heard it referred to as the Superbowl of Operas.

If by that they mean a hyped-up, long drawn out disappointing event in which the best part is the intermissions.......then yes, I concur.

Granted, I only watched one act of Die Walkure (my partner seemed to take to it a bit more than I, so I conceded him the 'privilege' of about 5 hours of it), but it became quickly apparent that it wasn't for me. I really gave it a go, though, because the story was right up my alley. Gods, heros, sword fights, etc. Not to mention it was directed by Atom Egoyan, a film director whose movies I've enjoyed. But, at the end of the day, the singing drove me nuts.

I'm sure opera singers are very talented, but to my uncultured ear, a happy bellow sounds the same as a sad bellow or an angry bellow. In truth, I don't think anyone really likes the opera. People have just been trained to think that appreciating the opera makes you smart and sophisticated, and gives you the ability to talk snootily. For example:

[with thick British accents]

Chap 1: [clapping] A fine performance. Bravo!

Chap 2: Magnificent. Truly magnificent.

Chap 1: I quite enjoyed the staging. And the voices....exquisite.

Chap 2: Verily, I must agree.

Chap 1: Shall we retire for some tea and crumpets?

Chap 2: May we use the fine china, holding it delicately whilst extending our pinky fingers?

Chap 1: Just so!

Chap 2: Then count me in, good sir.

I don't know. Perhaps people really do enjoy it. I just don't understand why. Much in the same way I don't understand why people like musicals. For the love of God, why musicals? I'm not trying to bash the theatre.....I like the theatre.....just not musicals. I don't even like the musical montages in The Family Guy.....they piss me off. Unless the singing is part of the story (i.e. Walk The Line), then let's leave the singing for the radio.

But maybe that's just me.

It's Funny Because It's True

Addendum

Okay....so it's time to update the list. (Not to be confused with The List).

• Bill Clinton
• Hillary Clinton
• Billy Crystal
• Kevin Spacey
• Sarah McLachlan*
• Josh Groban
• Jully Black
  
• Tim McGraw
• Paul Schaffer
• Shawn Ashmore
• Rick Mercer
• Tanya Kim
• Tyler Lewis
• Atom Egoyan
• Sir Richard Branson
  

*Let me just say that watching Sarah McLachlan perform from backstage, about 15 feet from where she sat at the piano, was awesome. Her voice was flawless, and she is surrounded by an aura that makes her absolutely stunning.

The Greatest Movies Ever Made.....

....that I've seen*. In my opinion. No particular reason. Just because. Some funny, some thought provoking, all good. At least to me. But as they say, there's no accounting for taste. ;)

• Braveheart
• The Crow
• Lost in Translation
• American Beauty
• Seven
• The Thin Red Line
• Office Space
• Napoleon Dynamite
• Grosse Point Blank
• Forces of Nature
• Playing By Heart
• The Matrix
• Star Wars: Episodes IV to VI
• American History X
• Spiderman (and 2)
• Super Troopers (not to be confused with Starship Troopers)
  
• Bad Santa
• Band of Brothers (yes...it's a miniseries, not a movie. Whatever)
• The Professional
• Almost Famous
• Memento
• Legends of the Fall
• A Guy Thing
• Suicide Kings

* I've probably forgotten some. Undoubtedly.

Decisions, Decisions

Serious consideration has been given lately to replacing our old desktop computer (on which I write) with a new laptop. We've decided on a laptop not because we need excessive mobility, but to reduce on clutter (get rid of the desk) and the idea of not having to be chained to one corner of the house. The problem now is, I'm not sure exactly what to get. I've been seriously looking into and considering an Apple Macbook (or Pro) even though I'm an old PC guy.

What is prompting this possible defection? I suppose it's the fact that Mac's are said to be more secure (i.e. viruses, spyware, etc) and it seems that Mac users are fanatically loyal, whereas you only ever hear PC users complaining about the problems they have with their systems. So let's break it down.

Apple Macbook (or Macbook Pro)

Pros

1. Increased security - fewer (no) problems with viruses, adware, spyware, etc
2. Testimonials - people who have Macs love them
3. iSight - webcam and microphone built into screen frame
4. iLife - comprehensive media package (iMusic, iPhotos, iWeb, iDVD, iChat)
5. Sleek design - they're purty

Cons

1. Price - Macs tend to be more expensive
2. Knowledge - Would need to familiarize myself with a new operating system
3. Compatability - no video/audio chat available with MSN at this time (AOL/Yahoo work)

So....I'm looking for some input if anyone has any. And for your viewing enjoyment......

Lazy

Dear Readership (yes, both of you),

I've been delinquent in my blogging frequency. I could offer up a multitude of excuses for this, but in the end it boils down to laziness. I wasn't quite sure how to overcome the lull. Until tonight.

As is my routine, I took the dog for a walk after supper this evening. In truth, it's more the dog's routine than mine, but by default it has become mine*. Along our customary route, I spotted a girl leaving her house dressed in a Sobey's (grocery store) uniform, presumably on her way to work. I then watched her get into her car and drive to work.

When I say I watched her drive to work, I mean exactly that. From Point A (her house) to Point B (Sobey's), her vehicle never left my sight. I estimate that door to door, the distance from home to her workplace is approximately 150 metres/yards.

Puzzled, I tried to run through my head possible scenarios which would explain this. The only one that was remotely plausible was that it was for security reasons assuming her shift ends at a late hour. However, given the distance and the fact that we're not exactly in a high crime area, I still don't quite get it. I am left to assume that the true reason is sheer laziness.

Given this new perspective, my blogging truancy doesn't seem quite so bad. Does it?

*TANGENT:

Joanna: "Hey, what were you guys celebrating last night?"
Peter: "Oh, uh, I'm not really at liberty to talk about it. (She looks at him) I really can't. (Still looking) Alright, so when the sub routine compounds the interest, right, it uses all these extra decimal places that get rounded off. So we simplified the whole thing and we just-- we round 'em all down and drop the remainder into an account that we opened."
Joanna: "So, you're stealing."
Peter: "Uh, no. No, you don't understand. It's uh-- it's very complicated. It's uh-- it's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny here. And, uh, over time they add up to a lot."
Joanna: "Oh, okay. So, you're gonna make a lot of money, right?"
Peter: "Yeah."
Joanna: "Right? That's not yours?"
Peter: "Uh, well, it becomes ours."
Joanna: "How is that not stealing?"

-Office Space-