Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The Two Things That Scared The Crap Out Of Me Today

I like to consider myself a relatively brave and courageous guy who doesn't let too much rattle him.

Well maybe when a big spider lands on me without my knowing, and then when I turn my head to look over my shoulder I see it crawling towards my face. That might rattle me a little.

And I suppose getting up on a high ladder. Or a plane.

Maybe my friend Cory's driving would do it too. maybe I'm a bit of a chicken. So imagine my surprise and horror at what I encountered today. There I was, taking some garbage out to the garage. A relatively uneventful chore.

Most days.

I flipped the lid of the trash can and saw this:

SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! I don't know if I actually said that. It may have been more along the lines of:

EEYYAAARRGGGHHHHHHHH! *flings garbage can lid away*

It's not really something you expect to see when you open your trusty Rubbermaid container; a seething, roiling mountain of MAGGOTS! If you are looking for a way to make a grown man lose his sh!t in a hurry, I suggest that that is a very good way to do it. Seriously. I ran to get my digital camera to take a picture, but by the time I got back they had all scurried to the bottom of the can like Vampires fleeing sunlight. And the batteries of my camera were dead.

And don't even get me started on the smell. I'm not sure if this whole episode was the result of the chicken bones, the cobbs of corn, or the baggies of dog excrement (a virtual pot-pourri, I know), but whatever was the cause, maggots were the result. So I spent the next hour trying to clean the mess, a task which included dumping a bunch of garbage on my driveway and unleashing a sea of white, squirming parasites. Luckily, most of my neighbours have jobs so weren't around late on a Wednesday morning. Otherwise, property values may have plummetted.

So there you have it....luckily I didn't retch. Oh....I said there were two things that scared the crap out of me today, didn't I? The other one happened when I walked into one of the upstairs bedrooms in my house.

Holy Furniture for Infants, Batman! I'm gonna be a Dad.

At least that's a good fear, and I won't have to deal with bad smells and filthy garbage and crawling...............


Blogger Eileen said...

Awwww! Is that how you found out? That is SO sweet; congratulations.

I couldn't even look at the picture of the maggots, it's so disgusting.

11:41 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Heh. wasn't how I found out. I was actually the one who put the crib together....but it's just one of those things where you stand back and go....Wow. Reality.

5:37 AM  
Blogger Eileen said...

*cyber-hug* *sniff*

2:02 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

"At least that's a good fear, and I won't have to deal with bad smells and filthy garbage and crawling"

I really, really, REALLY hope that was sarcasm I read between the lines, cause if not, then excuse me while I go laugh my innards out.

Disgusting picture of the maggots. Flashback to watching Flatliners.

Amazing picure of my little niece's room! It looks sooooooooo cute! I can't wait to hold her already! :)

4:04 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Me? Sarcastic? Never.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

That's what I thought. Good man.

8:09 PM  
Blogger CAPT_Sawyer said...

Our daughter just turned 9 months. It is quite a life changing event. Good luck!

And here is the required unsolicited advice for the first month:

Sleep when the baby sleeps!

9:17 PM  

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