Saturday, December 31, 2005

Whatcha Talkin' About, Apu?

Last night I was sitting in my living room, playing a little God of War on the PS2 when the phone rang.

*sigh*

[pauses PS2]

[answers phone]

Me: Hello?

Roger's Rep: [thick East Indian accent] Hello sir, I am calling for Roger's Wireless. You are a customer with us, sir?

Me: Yes I am.

RR: [much background noise consisting of other accented individuals speaking on the phone) Yes sir, we are calling to make a special offer to our special customers like yourself and offering them a free phone. It is the X296-blah-blah-camera phone-blah-blah and it is free of charge to you our special customer.

Me: [straining to hear through the accent and background noise] What?

RR: The phone...blah blah...special customer...blah blah....free....blah blah

Me: [confused] Does it work off the same plan? I don't want a second plan.

RR: Blah blah.....[incomprehensible]...blah blah....

Me: I'm not interested.

RR: [sounding shocked and surprised] Why not, sir?

Me: [thinking - "Because I can't understand a freakin' word that you're saying"] I'm just not.

RR: [pause]

Me: Is that all?

RR: Do you subscribe to Roger's high speed internet, sir...?

Me: No, I don.....

RR: Because we have a special offer for our special customers....

Me: NOT.....INTERESTED.

RR: [taken aback] Okay sir. Thank you.

[click]

Not the first time I've had a conversation like that. It gets me mad on so many levels. Number one....nothing is free. Don't sell me that line. You're a business...if there isn't something in it for you, there's definitely nothing in it for me. I hate when they act like they're a freakin' charity giving stuff away. And B), where's the professionalism? This guy's accent was so thick, I'd have trouble understanding him if we were in the same room together. On the phone, with a cacaphony of background noise (in the call centre where this guy works), I could barely make out what he was saying.

I'm thinking of investing in one of those airhorns you can buy at Canadian Tire:

RR: Sir, I'd like to tell you about a special off.....

Me: SQWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

[click]

Sweet.

[unpause PS2]

3 Comments:

Anonymous dad said...

Next time you get a call give them two blasts...
One for you
and one for the rest of us...:)

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Tam said...

The funny thing about my husband is that he thinks that hanging up on them is rude. I don't understand why he would rather fustrate himself by having a short conversation with them. Love ya Dave.
Tam

10:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the good laugh :)

As another option, maybe you could get Tam to teach you a few selected phrases in French and really throw the idiots off.

Kim :)

7:56 PM  

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